i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
