let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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