Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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