I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
