if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
