A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My vagina is very pro this idea
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
