At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize
