If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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