I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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