Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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