Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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