In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
