i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I have demons in me.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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