The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
