did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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