I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
