wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
