It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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