I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We need to get me chipped asap
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
