so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
