My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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