i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
