Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
