look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
