I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
