so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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