btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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