He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
