she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
