You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
