You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think I am morally bankrupt
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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