half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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