he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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