Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
