so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
