you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
either way he was missing a nipple.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Dear god my vagina.
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