So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
