you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
