i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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