Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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