i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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