Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
