and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
