good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Also, beer. Big fan.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
