The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
