i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
