I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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