Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
