Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
