you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
