if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
