question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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