Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
