I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
send nudes
from the living room?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
