If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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