Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
